Because it’s cold outside, I can’t see the kids as much as I wish to, and I’m missing summer, I am going to share a blog I wrote last summer…oh goodness, two summers ago! Can we just pretend 2020 summer didn’t happen? Just kidding, God blessed me so much over the summer and I don’t want to lose that. Anyway, this is from 2019 after I returned home from my summer internship at camp.
Trust and Obey
Hi, my name is Dacey and I am a procrastinator. I mastered the art of procrastination at a very young age. As a teenager I would always do my homework at the very last second, or finish a ten page paper that was due the next day at 4 in the morning. There must be something about the rushed, sweaty, stressful last minute scramble that just really gets me. Now, as an adult, well, adultish, I have learned that to this day, no matter how important something is, I ALWAYS wait until the very last moment to face it. This includes when God calls me to do something.
In July of 2018 I spent one week in Romania at Camp Living Water with my team from Texas. When I left, I felt a draw to go back, a very strong and sure pull that I knew God was telling me to come back. I didn’t know exactly what it meant or what it would entail, but I knew the Lord was not finished with me in Romania. So over the next year I prayed for Romania every day, the country, the people I met, the children I fell in love with, and the camp. However, I didn’t pray about why God continued to put Romania so strongly on my heart. (Because that would have made this too easy.)
A year later, I unsurprisingly found myself flying back to Romania with my team to spend two weeks at the camp.. But by the 2nd week, I had the same sense as before that God was telling me “You are not finished here.” However this time, He did not give me the chance to go back to the comfort and security of my home where I could overthink it and back out. Instead, the Holy Spirit persistently worked on my heart and mind, so much so, that the thought of going back home that week felt almost impossible.
Each morning during my quiet time with the Lord, He would reveal to me that staying at camp was His will for me. However, I am a stubborn human being, therefore, I decided I needed more confirmation. (Just in case.) So I prayed the Lord would instead SHOW me that He wanted me to stay. (I wanted some sort of confirmation outside of my own brain because I did not trust what was going on in there!) Thankfully God was and is so gracious and patient that He chose to humor me and answer my prayer. That morning, at breakfast, the director of the camp sat across from me and presented me with the opportunity to stay and intern for the rest of the summer at the camp. (You would think the decision would have been easy to make by now, however, don’t underestimate the power of fear.) Instead of letting go and trusting God, I chose to try and convince myself this could not be Him. I did this by using the oh so dignified tactics of arguing and excuses.
“But God, I only packed for two weeks?” “There is a washing machine here, come on you can do better than that.”
“But God what if they don’t like me and I’m stuck here all summer?” “You have already made friends here. Besides, your worth is in me.”
“But God, I already have a ticket to go home in just a few days?” “Tickets can be changed.”
“But God, how will I be able to afford to stay I didn’t plan for this?” “No, but I did. I provided you with the funding from the gifts you’ve already received.”
“But God what about my job back home?” “I will provide.”
“But God this is a whole other country, a different language, a different culture, how can I do this?” “ Do you trust me? Am I not bigger than these things?”
In that moment, after throwing all of my very “convincing” excuses at Him, God reminded me of His promises and truth in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Whatever God calls us to do, it is and always will be for our own good. He is fully prepared to provide and be there through it all, to never leave or forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:6) The enemy tried to cloud my mind using my insecurities and fear of the unknown in an attempt to prevent me from choosing God. Satan, and our flesh, can make us fear following God so easily because our hearts can be deceived and we can let our emotions rule our thoughts and actions. When I chose to fully surrender and trust Him, I was able to recognise that my fears and feelings were clouding my faith in Christ. Then I was able to make the decision to instead trust in His promises and obey His commands rather than my own feelings. Four days before it was time for me to fly home, I told the director that I wanted to stay for the summer. Once I finally declared it out loud, I could feel the weight of the spiritual battle lift from my chest, and the Holy spirit filled me with peace and joy.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers, against authorities,
and against the powers of this dark world and
against the spiritual forces of evil
in the heavenly realm
- Ephesians 6:12
Dacey McCombs